OLYMPIC MINUTES
Having trained for it my whole life, I can now sit in front of the TV for 16 days watching the 2024 Summer Olympics.
I've been to five Olympics - three summer and two winter. I was there on four occasions as a TV producer/journalist and once as a volunteer (loading TV producers and journalists into buses).
Here are some things the less dedicated may have missed (but probably not). It's also an opportunity to show off my French (grade 6 O level, second attempt):
Opening ceremony: "It seemed like a good idea at the time".
We've all made that mistake so I feel a bit sorry for them. Although they did get the Olympic flag upside down. And no-one recognised Nadia Comaneci because the host broadcaster didn't provide commentators with a detailed running order. And perhaps putting the Refugees team in a small boat wasn't the best idea.
Boxing: The Refugee team won their first-ever Olympic medal - a boxing bronze for Djankeu 'Cindy' Ngamba . Cindy, bless her, was born in Cameroon but has lived in Bolton since she was 11. She has a degree from Bolton University and trains with the British amateur boxing team. But she has yet to acquire British citizenship because her uncle lost her immigration paperwork. Had the British government been a bit more proactive our boxing medal tally would have doubled. But we'd still be moaning about the judging.
Rowing: Amidst all the gender rows, absolutely no-one protested when a man won a medal in a women's event .....
The diminutive Henry Fieldman (left) was coxswain for the British women's eights. I wouldn't mind that job; but think I'd be too heavy. Henry also won a bronze in the men's eights in Tokyo so is the only person to win Olympic medals in both men's and women's events. I'll resist any cox-related schoolboy humour.
Between 1967 and 1996 all female Olympic participants were tested for sex verification. The only exception was Princess Anne in 1976. It was considered unnecessary for such a public figure. In any case she competed in equestrian eventing which features riders of any sex. Their horses can also be any sex (performance-wise it makes little difference) - and any nationality.
Athletics:
With his neat parting, 5000 metres champion Jakob Ingerbrigsten reminds me of those head shots once seen in barber shop windows. "Would Sir like something for the weekend?" For my younger readers, the "something for the weekend?" euphemism was a packet of condoms. They were usually displayed discretely alongside the jars of Brylcreem which no-one, apart maybe from Jakob, uses any more.
The men's triple jump saw Spanish, Portuguese and Italian athletes winning gold, silver and bronze. All three were born in Cuba and jumped ship - maybe with a hop and a skip.
Breaking: In the girl's breaking bronze medal match 671 of China beat India of the Netherlands. Confusing, huh? To simplify things 671's real name is 刘清漪. The Korean judge was called Virus. I'm not making this up. The Ballroom Dancing Federation can't be happy - strictly speaking, they've been trying to get their 'sport' into the Olympics for ages.
Anyhow, Breaking won't be in the LA programme. And it's unlikely the IOC will be bringing back firefighting, tug-of-war, powerboat racing and live pigeon shooting. But there will be flag football, cricket, squash, lacrosse and baseball. In case you were wondering, flag football is a contactless version of American football. From what I've seen of it 'tap and go' might be a better description.
Aussie Rules, Surf Lifesaving and Boomerang Tennis in Brisbane 2032? I made the last one up but it's only a matter of time.
Skateboarding: Eleven year-old-Chinese Zheng Haohao competed in the women's event where the oldest medallist was 16-year-old Sky Brown, already in her second Olympics. The youngest confirmed Olympic athlete is gymnast Dimitrios Loundras who was ten in 1896. But an unnamed Dutch cox in 1900 is believed to have been either seven or eight.
Oddly, Andy McDonald, Britain's representative in the men's event, is 51. He finished 18th.
It's unlikely, but by the time Zheng is Old MacDonald's age she could be appearing in her 10th Olympics, equalling the record of Canadian equestrian Ian Millar.
Gymnastics: Gymnast Carlos Yulo's reward for being the first Filipino to win Olympic gold was an apartment and free colonoscopies for life.
Lady Gaga, Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman, Spike Lee, Tom Brady and Tom Cruise all scored tickets to watch Simone Biles.
Shooting: Given that around 40% of U.S. households have at least one gun it's surprising they only won one shooting gold. Not a good look for the NRA.
Artistic swimming (formerly synchronised swimming but still silly). Of the top four pairs, only the British bronze medallists were not identical twins - a commentators nightmare.
Diving: China won eleven medals, including all eight golds.
Table tennis: China won all five golds.
Swimming: The three most bemedalled (is that a word?) competitors in Paris were all swimmers: Leon Marchand (France, four gold, one bronze), Torrie Huske (USA, three gold, two silver) and Mollie O'Callaghan (Australia, three gold, one silver, one bronze).
Closing ceremony: I liked the French band Phoenix but was surprised they sang in English given the French are normally so precious about their own language. Anyhow, c'est la vie. I was hoping there'd be some Christine and the Queens and Daft Punk. They are the only French bands I've heard of.
BBC commentator Andrew Cotter - "Well, this is what everybody really comes for - the speeches!"
Final medal table (apart from NBC):
This tends to be the usual layout. But NBC's version is in order of medals won, something that gets my vote as I think the more familiar table devalues the efforts of the silver and bronze medallists. The fact Great Britain would be third instead of seventh in a 'medals won' table has no influence on my being with the American network on this.
Japan made a late surge. This could be down to the usual 'bounce' after nations have hosted the previous games before everyone goes back to being couch potatoes. But I think I've spotted what also happened here. The Japanese Olympic Committee had put their heads together and identified a boring sport which most countries don't bother entering and also requires minimal funding for facilities and equipment. Et voila! Eight golds for Japan in wrestling. Also, having been an event in the ancient Greek Olympics, wrestling will never be dropped from the Olympic programme.
As usual, Australia and New Zealand punched above their weight. If the final medal table was according to size of nation it would look like this:
To be as successful per capita as Grenada, the USA would have needed to win 6,168 medals. For China it would be 25,345.
Best picture from the Olympics (all newspapers) ......
..... Brazilian surfer Gabriel Medina.
Surfing: By all accounts, for the open water swimmers and triathletes, the Seine had quiet a swell (and smell). But not enough for surfing, which was held in Tahiti. This set trivia nerds like myself googling "which is the world's longest domestic flight". But it seems Paris Charles de Gaulle to Tahiti's Faa'a International Airport is no longer direct. The 16 hour, 26 minute flight was only operable due to US transit restrictions during the pandemic. The current list of longest domestic flights is dominated by flights from France to its distant outposts and flights from various US cities to Honolulu.
Incidentally, the longest scheduled flight (I think) is between Singapore and New York - 19 hours, 35 minutes.
Ok, I'm rambling now; and I'm pret (sans circumflex) a manger. So I'll stop .... apart from some inevitable and irresistible Olympic trivia:
The opening ceremony for the 1960 Winter Olympics was organized by Walt Disney.
In the 1932 Summer Olympics an officiating error led to an extra lap being run in the men's 3,000 metres steeplechase.
American Eddie Eagan was the only person to win gold medals in different disciplines at both the Summer and Winter Games - boxing in 1920 and bobsleigh in 1932. Sweden's Sweden's Gillis Grafström also won gold in both Games but in the same discipline as, until 1932, figure skating was part of the Summer Olympics.
The only person to have won medals at both the Olympics and Paralympics is Hungarian fencer Pal Szekeres who won a team foil bronze in the 1988 Seoul Olympics. He became wheelchair-bound following a traffic accident in 1991 and went on to win fencing gold the following year in the Barcelona Paralympics. Fourteen other athletes, famously including Oscar Pistorius, have competed in both.
F1 driver Alex Zanardi won para-cycling golds in 2012 and 2016 following a CART race crash which resulted in both his legs being amputated. Eddie Irvine, who drove for Ferrari in the 1990s, was a reserve for the Irish rowing team in the 1980 Olympics but did not compete.
It's no surprise that Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian with 28 medals including 23 golds.
You'd think, following her two cycling victories in Paris, Dame Sarah Storey would be the most decorated Paralympian with 19 golds (including seven in swimming). But she's nowhere near the 41 golds won by American swimmer Trischa Zorn from 1980 to 2004.
Boccia and goalball are the only Paralympic sports which do not feature in the Olympics.
There's a good chance this trivia list will be added to. In fact, I've already started.
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